We belonged to a lot of Yahoo Boards about adoption. But, there was one board that I had never thought of before. I remembered that someone had talked to me about Special Needs children in Eastern Europe and how there are plenty of situations that can be corrected in the U.S. (Thank you Cathy O.!!)

So, I found another Yahoo Board to join:

• Special Needs Adopt Russia

I immediately joined the board and introduced ourselves. I mentioned that we were hoping to adopt a boy under the age of 3. We joined the board to learn more about the different special needs that the other parents had gone through, etc. It was a great experience being on all the boards. Many people had told us about a variety of agencies and non-profits that were specifically helping Special Needs Children.

Blake and I talked about it and we agreed that we would prefer a healthy child if we could. Who wouldn't, right? But, one morning after the many referrals that we had been given or children that we had requested...an email came in. I barely even looked at what the words said. I just saw these 2 big blue eyes staring back at me with this peach fuzz hair that I suppose could be blonde... We had seen several files of children before that were special needs and they were all beautiful. We talked to a fabulous agency. There wasn't anything wrong with anyone of these children. They were all amazing to.

But, this one agency, Lighthouse Adoptions they were incredible and with this one child...this one....he was different, he was BEAUTIFUL to me. His eyes looked at me as if he were looking through my soul. I showed Blake the picture and he said " he is cute". Of course, remember by this time....we had seen a lot of pictures and we weren't sure if the special needs path was where we were supposed to go.

I hadn't even read the email yet and found out what was going on with him. I read the email and I immediately called the agency back. I can't remember if he was one that I inquired about or what. It didn't matter to me. I called immediately, I wanted to know everything. She sent more pictures and partial medical file and a small video. My heart stopped beating when I saw him. It was such a bizarre feeling. I didn't trust myself to feel this connected to a child from a picture, because it happened with Alyona. But, this one felt different. Somehow, he was talking to me. I said immediately outloud "I don't care what the Dr's say, you are my son". Blake saw the new pictures and he came running up the stairs and told me the very same thing..."this is our son".

I know, that doesn't make much sense to many of you. And it doesn't have to. I wished that I could explain it. I tried to explain it to Blake. As days passed and we sent his medical information to Dr. Dana Johnson

Dr. Johnson is one the most renowned doctors for International Adoptions and we trusted his comments. Our referral (I hate referring to our new son as "referral"...but, we can't really show you any pictures yet until the official court date and he is officially ours and lets just refer him as to 'S') . Well, Dr. Johnson said that 'S' had ABS which is known as Amniotic Band Syndrome. 3 or 4 of S' fingers are webbed together. They are even overlapped. It happens when the mother's Amniotic Sac bursts before birth. We had seen his hand in the picture and it never even affected us. The Dr. admitted that he was very below his weight, especially head size, and in every other way. I am not even sure that he is 1%. Maya was born premature as was 'S', but, Maya was at least 20% with all the other kids.

So, what did that mean to us?. Well, it was scary to hear that Dr. Johnson said that he could have mild mental retardation. As for his hand, he will be able to have an operation for it. Even if he didn't, he is able to use it with no trouble now. But, we plan on finding a great doctor to help him with his hand.

But, if you have ever been in this space in your life when you knew that something was meant to be or that everything was going to be alright, then you will know what I mean. When I woke up in the morning, I looked at his picture, before we would go to bed, Blake and I would look at it before we went to sleep. We just knew and know that he is meant to be our son and that it WILL all work out.

We made that phone call and accepted the referral and boy have things fallen into place ever since. There is so much peace in our hearts about 'S' that it is almost scary. Sophia and Maya are so excited that they can hardly stand it!!. As for us, well, we are beyond estactic!. And now... we are just waiting on that little ole letter from Homeland Security that I told you about. Then, after a few (right.....A TON) more paperwork...we are Moscow, Russia bound baby!!!!