I was lying in the hospital, having been there for close to 3 weeks. I was very sick with high blood pressure, and a baby desperately needing to get out of my stomach. They warned me that her lungs weren't ready. The doctors had to give me a drug to help me not go into a seizure. I had pre-eclampsia.
4 years ago today, the doctors said that our baby had to come out or that we both could die.
She was born at 4:00 in the afternoon. She was so tiny and so beautiful. Her chest was puffing in and out so heavily. She was struggling to breathe. They let me kiss her for a millisecond and I never held her in my arms again for another week.
She was rushed to the NICU. I was stuck in bed with IV's hanging out of me. Later that night, the nurses and doctors took pity on me and let my husband wheel me down to the NICU. I was still hooked to all types of medicines. There was still a fear that I would have a seizure afterwards.
I wheeled myself right up to the window of the incubator that my tiny-iny baby was lying in. She had a chest tube, tubes in every place imaginable and her chest was so swollen from trying to breathe. Never in my life did I feel the way that I felt in that moment. I was terrified of losing this beautiful angel that God had blessed me with. I cried with every tear that I had in my body.
That night, the doctor came in to sit next to me. He held my hand ever so gently and told me that he was called in because our baby's lung had collapsed and they would have to transport her by ambulance to the next hospital that had a Higher Level Newborn Intensive Care Unit. He said not to worry, that they would take care of her.
They wheeled her down in my room before going into an ambulance. I touched the glass and told her that I loved her and not to give up. "Please don't give up"
We reunited several days later. I was taken off all IV's and able to go to the hospital that she was at. I rarely left her side. She was in a tiny incubator and had IV's coming out of her head, toes, nose. My husband and I clung to each other.
When we walked in, the nurses were full of smiles. They told us that they had no idea what had happened, but, our baby girl had taken a turn. A turn for the better. They said that she must have loved that ambulance ride, because she only needed a ventilator for a day (compared to the original 3 weeks) and that she was making a miraculous recovery. I finally held her through the incubator. It was like a robot machine. I touched her tiny fingers and prayed every prayer that I could pray.
A few days later....we were told that she would be released from the NICU and sent to another hospital for a few days of observation. I was able to hold her in my arms. She smelled so good. She smiled at me and I knew we were going to be ok.
Today is her 4th birthday. I have been grateful for every moment of those 4 years. She is a vivacious little girl who has a feisty spirit that she had to come into this world with. She lights up my world and I thank God every day for allowing her to hang on. I celebrate life with her. I am so grateful.
There is rarely a day that goes by that I don't realize how lucky I am to still be on this earth with 3 amazing children. Most importantly, that precious little baby who struggled so hard to breathe........., she never gave up.
Happy Birthday Princess!!!