>>Sunday, May 21, 2006<<
Just Breathe...it is mind over matter (rant not adoption related)
That is what the nurse told me and then the doctor when I arrived at the Emergency room the night before last. I was crying hysterically as my husband and our three children wheeled me into the ER. I had not been feeling myself since Russia. Mainly it started last weekend...flu like symptoms, headache, nausea...actually..it wasn't a big deal at first. I didn't think too much about it. Until the night before the ER visit, I ended up having a blinding migraine and horrific nausea and just felt awful. The next day (Thursday), I didn't feel much better. But, I started back to work this week and I had to put on my boot straps (as the saying goes) and not let my yukkie feelings get in the way. By the time my shift was over and M and N and I picked up Big Sis S...I was crumpled over. I am not sure how I drove home and thank goodness my husband was there to meet me at home. Because when I drove up in the driveway...I was crying hysterically and just fell out of the car. The pain in my stomach was awful.

B said instead of calling an ambulance, it would be easier for him to drive me. That was how bad the pain was. We thought an ambulance was needed. When I got there and the triage nurse saw me.... her comment to B was " you guys can't all fit in here, you will have to wait in the lobby" He said " she needs my help". The nurse said "she will be fine...she has to". She looked at me and told me to "just breathe, it is just mind over matter". If I was not in as much pain as I was in and if I was not a nice person..I probably would have reached over the desk and pulled all of her hair out!! WHAT????? JUST MIND OVER MATTER?!?! Ok...seriously...I know all of that psycho babble stuff. Yes, your mind has a lot to do with the pain factor. I have done yoga...I know how to breathe...I have taken Qi gong classes that helps you heal your body without medicne. So, I wanted to say "sister...don't sit there all high and mighty telling me to breathe when I feel like I have a two by four going straight through my stomach and through my back!".

I hate the ER. Sorry if you work in the ER out there my friends. But, from my experience...most of the nurses or rather the doctors are JADED. Unless you are dying on their table, they really want you out of there. They seem to automatically assume that nothing is really wrong with you. And I notice that as a woman..I don't get taken too seriously. If I were a man coming in there saying my chest hurt this week and I had severe stomach pain. Trust me, the doc would have been all in my business. Instead when he came in...he half heard me. He just kept saying 'uh huh, uh huh'. I know he was thinking about when his next break was.

People, people, people....I know that their might be some people that go to the ER at the drop of a hat. But, I have unfortunately seen it way too many times in the past year. 2 times this week... once with a migraine and the other with migraine and horrible stomach pains. They ran a CT scan and couldn't find anything. I left there in as much pain as I started out with. They were like "bye bye..don't let the door hit you in the rear"

So, yesterday..I went to my primary care and he is running some other tests. He said that I could have H Pylori that I could have picked up in Russia. I think it is a type of parasite or something. It also is a big factor in ulcers. So, I had even more blood tests taken. The sad part about it is, there has been no resolution. Tonight is Saturday night and I am still in a lot of pain. Now Blake is starting to show signs of having abdominal problems. So, I am not so sure we don't have a viral problem going on here.

So far, the kids are fine.

But, I just had to rant about the ER. The nurses are nice enough (sometimes). But, when you say that you are in a lot of pain, especially as a woman, in my experience...it seems as if they don't really believe you. And that really ticks me off. Because I don't have time to be visiting the ER for fun!!! I am not a drug seeker...I hate pain...I am a complete wuss when it comes to pain. I will do whatever I can to avoid it. I hate the ER. But, I find it a necessary evil when things get bad enough.

Anyway, I am just so frustrated that I cannot get my body back since my hysterectomy. Actually, I haven't gotten it back since the birth of our first daughter. My blood sugar is starting to go up...so, I am officially giving the South Beach Diet a try as of Monday. So, if any of you have ever been on it....let me know what you think. A friend from work said that was really helpful for her to control her diabetes ( I don't have that..but, want to avoid it). Her doctor put her on it. And i am officially going to take baby steps in working out. Start slowly in walking. I know that at my age...God could not have intended for me to be in this bad of shape and always getting sick. It drives me nuts!. Besides...when you have kids, you really can't take too much time off. Because they need you. And I want to be able to run and play with them a lot more than I am.

Enough for my rant. Just wanted to tell someone and that would explain my absense for the past couple of days. Hope everyone's weekend is going well!!

Anonymous Leggy said...
Ugh- I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience. It is well documented in health services research that women's symptoms are not taken as seriously as men's and that are significant gender, racial, & ethnic disparities in care received by different populations.

I think one reason the nurses and doctors are so jaded because there are so many people who don't have access to primary care and use the ER because its often the only place they can get any care, and it gets crowded with inappropriate resource use (I'm not saying your visit was inappropriate, but if more people could be seen in flexible primary care settings, it would reduce the burden to the ER so they could focus better on people with emergent needs, like yours.)

Anyway, my real point is that I hope you get better soon and that they find out what this is ASAP. I really hope it doesn't spread to the rest of your family.

Blogger Margaret said...
I'm sorry you're feeling so terribly. I hope whatever it is clears up soon.

I'm with you on the ER thing. I took my dad in one night and after a few hours my mom sent me home. (I should have stayed.) Later they drew blood from my dad and he passed out (Simple vaso-vagal response... no biggie.) But the ER techs called for a crash cart and went crazy running around. My poor mother was never so scared in her life. I swear ER personnel only know how to under- or over-react.

Blogger jeneflower said...
I am so sorry about your pain and your bad ER experience. I have totally experienced the same thing, and being married to a doctor I know that all of your thoughts about how the doctors feel is true- tho some of that comes from overworking the doctors.

I had a similar horrible experience when I came in to the ER due to severe stomach pain. I was crying, hyperventilating, etc. They treated me horribly. Told me that I was just having menstrual cramps. I was thinking to myself (I have had menstrual cramps all of my life and it NEVER felt like this) but the woman doctor dismissed me with "We all have those bad ones once in a while". I was thinking "I don't!" Turns out that my IUD had moved way up inside of me where it wasn't supposed to be and this was the cause of the pain. I eneded up having to get it surgically removed. Of course, the ER never even checked this.

I hope you feel better soon and they find out the trouble! I know that Moms are not allowed to get sick.

Blogger Debbie said...
Hope they find out what is going on with you and that you & Blake feel better soon. Glad to hear the kids aren't getting sick too.

Blogger 6blessings said...
I hope you feel better soon and they find out what's wrong. Sorry you had the bad ER experience. Pain is very real. If a mom is in pain, people should listen!

Get well soon!

Blogger Starfish said...
Ugh I hate ERs too. A while ago my mom got really sick totally out of the blue and at the ER this Nurse Cratchett woman comes in and stands between us with her back to me. She got an attitude when I asked questions, and was convinced that my mom was simply having a panic attack and was wasting everyone's time. Turned out she was really sick.

Regarding Leggy's comment, at least around here, people have plenty of access to the doctors, they just choose to go to the ER. I work for an HMO and we are constantly trying to re-educate members on the proper way to get medical care.

So sorry you had to go through this, I hope they get you diagnosed and treated very soon.

Blogger Brian & Rebeca said...
I hope you are feeling better now. I will be praying for you so that you will know soon what is the cause of the pain. Nice to have you back writting!

Blogger sandy said...
Caroline, I know exactly how you feel. I've gone through the same thing.... even the hyst. when the twins were born. Unfortunately, my intense stomach pain that sent me to the ER 5 months after the kids were born was a bowel obstruction. Not fun. That required even more surgery. It's good that they gave you a CT scan. I really hope you find out what the problem is soon. Another option is to see a gastroenterologist who can give you an endoscopy. Then they can see if there's an ulcer, gastritis, anything else. In the meantime, take tylenol (no ibuprofen), prilosec for acid relief, and get some herbal teas with licorice and chamomile. Also try some deglychirhized (sp?) licorice tablets. These taste terrible, but they are helpful to relieve stomach pain. Stop eating spicy foods, alcohol, and black pepper (all the irritants). And mix up some aloe vera extract with juice and drink this. (It also tastes terrible.) This should all help if it's some kind of stomach irritation (it all helped me with my gastritis). I hope you feel better soon! Sandy