>>Friday, March 03, 2006<<
Humble
So, for those of you who are wondering if I am still in freak out mode...no, I am calm now. It could be because I am so exhausted I don't know if I am coming or going.

Thank goodness for B, our invitations from Russia came in and B got all of our information to send our Visa's out. He had it all together and in a Fed Ex package before I could blink an eye. I feel like the whole world is passing me by and I am in slow motion.

I am also feeling very humbled too as I go through this process. I have come across some very cool blogs which has led me to some very cool people. Jen and her husband have been waiting for a long time for their agency to get re-accredited to even get a referral for their daughter. Lisa and Derek have been waiting for so long as well. Both of which have fabulous blogs. Check out Life of Elle You rock!!

There are a lot of other people that I have met that are in the same boat, which I am going to get help with putting their links up on our blog. They have some great stories to tell. Which leads me to my point about being humbled. Here we are on this fast track that is leading us to our son, yet, I don't know why it is happening to us and not to them. I feel guilty in a way.

The other guilt that I am carrying is the fact that I have been able to have children before and now I am adopting and it is going fairly smoothly (not to jinx anything). I feel like I shouldn't be shouting from the mountain tops. My sister case in point. Why did she go through so much trouble and then have a hard time adopting?. If she were here she would say it was because she was led to her son (my absolutely adorable, handsome, smart, charming...need I go on??? Nephew). So, I know there is a reason for everything. I can't imagine life without my nephew in our family. When I look at him, I know that God has a divine plan.

Then there are our friends Michelle and Dan who have been waiting for almost a year. Their heartache has been excrutiating. But, now they are in Ukraine and if I am not mistaken...they are seeing their daughter to be today. I felt so bad telling her we were flying the same time as her and she had been waiting a year. I know it was different countries, but, still.

I don't know why things happen the way that they do. But, I do believe that there are no mistakes in life. Maybe we are supposed to go at this time to get our son out of the orphanage to get him the medical care that he needs. He needs surgery for his hand and other medical care. Maybe that is why we are on the fast track. I don't know the answers. But, I do know that I am excited and sad for the others at the same time. But, I do know that I have now added new people in my prayers that God will lead you to your child soon.
3 Comments:
Blogger Elle said...
Caroline,
I stood on a street corner in Khabarovsk, Russia last June and a very wise woman said something to me. "You will go when you are supposed to go." This woman was another American there to pick up her son. She had waited 5 months in between trips. I think about the other families that we met on that trip and how long they had waited between trips. 10 months, 8 months and 2 at 5 months. These mothers have been a constant source of strength for me.

I do believe God has a plan in all of this and we go when it is in His time. Of course God's time is not always the same as ours. For some is moves quickly and for others very slow. I am sad that we have had to wait so long to go back, but secretly I am glad. Our life is more "together" now than it was 8 months ago. God has a plan, trust in Him. Never feel guilty.

Blogger jeneflower said...
Everyone that has adoption travel plans pending seems to describe themselves as either freaked out and crazy, or calm. I guess these are the two emotions I can expect to experience back and forth when it is our turn.

That is so neat that you are adopting a child with these special needs. He will be able to get the medical care that he needs that he wouldn't be able to get otherwise. Don't feel guilty about any of your blessings. Everyone is on a different path of experiences! But at the same time, thanks for the prayers I think we all need them!

Blogger Charlene Davis said...
Well, you're right - we had a tough time with the adoption process because it wasn't our time. God had already picked out our child way in advance, so that is why He kept shutting and locking doors that we were trying to force open.

I'm very, very happy that the process is going much more smoothly for you and will pray that it will continue to. You've had a lot of rough bumps in the past and its about time you had a break.

Love you girlie!
Charlene