There are not many days that you will find that I am at a loss for words. But, today, I was. Driving down to the Department of Education to get our official referral, I became quite ill to my stomach. Not from anything that I had eaten. But, from nerves. I had no idea what to expect. "How many questions were they going to ask? Did they bite? What if we said the wrong things?" Oh, my head was spinning.

With palms sweating, we entered the Director's office and before I could throw up on his shoes (which I thought that I was seriously going to do), he had a big smile for us. I thought to myself "Are you sure we are in Russia?" :) He was as nice as can be and with very little fanfare, we were sent on our way with an official referral for our son along with a nod and a smile.

Somewhere between his office and the orphanage, my voice went out the window. I held the referral sheet in my hand which was completely in Russian. But, then, it became all so real. I was speechless. We had come so far and here we were minutes from meeting our son. B and I held each others hands. The other couples that were with us did the same. We were all so quiet driving there. Excitement, nerves, anxiousness, a million words could be listed here that we were all feeling.

Driving down a snowy winding road, we began to see a playground. The van was slowing down. I knew my heart could be heard by everyone. I squeezed B's hands so hard, I am still not sure he has any circulation.

We met a translator there and we all walked up to the top of the stairs and into the building. Hands shaking , we greeted the Doctors and Director and Care Givers. Each family went into a seperate room where they met their child. We were the last to be called. Could the wreck my nerves anymore?!?!?! Down the stairs we went and through a long hallway we heard some noises. My eyes started to tear up until our translator yelled out "Take off your shoes". You have to be here to understand and to laugh about it. The language sounds as if they are yelling. But, they aren't...that is how they do things. So, here I am in a "moment" and I was scared out of my tears!! ha ha!! So, off went our shoes.

Well, we weren't the only ones scared. A beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed boy saw us come through the door and cried his eyes out. There goes the images of angels coming down from the sky and playing harps. Instead, he looked at us as if we were aliens from another planet. Well, to him , we were.

I was in awe of him. He was so beautiful. Russians only call females beautiful, males...handsome. But, this was a beautiful that just can't be described. He stopped crying just as soon as we broke out food. They say that is the way to a mans heart right??? Then, we brought out the bunny our girls wanted to give him. If you press the bunny's belly, it says "Now, I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep". He liked bunny!!!

After a while, he liked "Mama". Not so much with "Papa" at first. You have to remember, he has never had exposure to a male, except for the Director of the Orphanage. But, no need to worry...he took to B before you knew it. We got on the floor with him and for the next 2 hours, he played with us, laughed with us and snuggled with us.

Then, it came time to say goodbye. One hand has Amniotic Banding Syndrome where his fingers are banded together. Trust me, he doesn't know it. Because he threw that ball like a champ!!. But, with those banded fingers he waved goodbye to us. My heart melted. All I could think about was "How does one expect us to leave him here until court?". But, we have tomorrow and Saturday until we have to worry about that. Until then, we are going to drive down that Winding Snowy Road to see our son.