As we are getting closer to travelling, I truly believe in order for me not to worry about the crucial items, I am worrying about the semi-crucial items. For me, it is Oprah. We all have our vices...ok? Some of us it is the show All my Children, or Days of our livesothers it is Sports Center. For me, it is OPRAH!!. I TiVo her every single solitary day.

Oh, but, it goes way beyond just watching her like some sort of obsession or soap opera. I truly feel like I know her somehow. She has been on the air for 20 years. I am 36 and I have been watching her since the day she came on. So, you do the math.

I have been through some really horrible things in my life and I know that God has brought me through it. And most if not everyone will laugh when I say this. But, I believe that during the times that I really needed to be helped...Oprah would have a topic on her show that showed me that I wasn't alone in this area. It helped me pick up the pieces and realize that there were other people out there like me who had been through tough times in their life. So, she goes beyond the "craze" that is going on now. She has become my mentor. It is quite funny in our household. Our 2 1/2 year old will say "Momma..Oprah on" and I will turn around and it will be a commercial with her in it. It cracks me up. Our oldest can tell you in a heart beat who my favorite person is (besides my family of course)....she will tell a person in the grocery store line when she sees Oprah's magazine. She will point to it and say "This is my Mommy's favorite person". Then our 2 1/2 chimes in and says "Yea, that's Oprah". I know, it sounds silly. But, not to me.

So...what am I going to do on our down time without Oprah? My husband once again has saved the day. He has figured out a way to download all of my shows from this week on a DVD from our Tivo so that I can have them with me. Talk about devotion. I just love that man.

One more quick thing (well, it is a little long) about my husband and Oprah. He may not understand the whole connection between Oprah and I. But, he knows its real. Because last year, when Oprah was doing "Oprah's Wildest Dreams"...I got up enough nerve to submit a tape to her about helping me be introduced to a producer to pitch my script that I am STILL writing. Well, I wanted the tape professionally done by a friend of ours. Christmas had just passed and we had gotten some Christmas money from family. I was going to use all of my money towards the making of the video (I really wanted to get on to meet Oprah). But, it ended up costing a little more than I thought. So, I didn't make a big deal about it. I just told my husband that I decided not to go through with the tape. I didn't give him really any big reason. I just said I thought it was silly to spend a lot of money on something that I thought would never ever happen. That was the end of that....so I thought.

That night, he had put his Christmas money on my pillow and wrote a note saying "Dreams are never silly...do the tape". That is why I love him so much. It sounded crazy to the rest of the world, but, not to him. So, I made my tape and gave my speel as to why I wanted my dream to come true. Of course, it has been a year and I never heard from them. Not that I expected to.

But, what was so special about it was...my husband did something that was so selfless that it touched me to the core. Because the video ended up being about his father. My screenplay is about his fathers life. When my husband was 7 years old, my father in law was one of the first FBI agents in the country to ever go undercover against the mafia who in the 70's was running the Porn Industry. Him and his partner were undercover about the same time as Donny Brasco (Joe Pistone). My husband and his sister who was about 4 or 5 at the time had no idea what their dad did for a living. They were told he resigned from the FBI and was now a jeans distributor. He had a dual persona. He went undercover as a pornography distributer to help infiltrate some of the child pornography world that the mafia was controlling and many other things they were involved in. But, then at night, he came home to be a father and a husband. Him and his partner were able to bring down one of the largest child pornography distibutors of that time. The whole undercover operation concluded...my father in law went on to do many other amazing things in the FBI. The tragedy of it was that he wanted to tell his own story when he retired. He was in his early to mid 50's when he retired. He got cancer. It took him rather quickly and he died 2 years ago at 56. It has torn my husband apart. I loved my father in law dearly as did our children. He never met my sweet little nephew (Blake's sisters son). This was an event that rocked our world.

I have been a writer by nature my entire life. I feel like it is my calling. Obviously acting didn't work out, huh? ;) But, I feel like I was meant to carry on the torch to tell his story. I have all of his FBI files...transcripts, everything.

So, it was more than just a video to Oprah begging to get on her show. It was a tribute to a great man who risked his life to do great things and I wanted to help his and my dream come true. Of course, I wanted to meet Oprah who has been my hero as well. And she is doing what he and his partner did back so long ago and part of it was to take down these child pornographer's. So, my admiration goes for Oprah goes far beyond just TV. She has helped given me a hand up. I may have not gotten chosen to be on her show, that is ok. I believe my dream will come true one day and I will finish my father in laws story. She will never know how much she has personally helped me. See, one person can make a difference.