>>Saturday, May 27, 2006<<
Two sides of the coin...
In every case scenerio, there are two sides of the coin. In my life right now that is most definitely true. I don't think anyone can truly prepare you for the life changing event of an adoption. The same being said for having a baby. Or any life changing event. Most people like to sugar coat things. And then when reality hits, we are all ill prepared. Now...in saying that, we go back and forth between having blissful moments to complete "shock and awe" moments. Nikolai has an extreme attachment to B and I. I have to say that is great news. He is very attached to us and is growing attached to his sisters. He even babble talks to Lilly (our bulldog). He is getting so integrated into our home that he is now a finicky eater and knows how to throw a temper tantrum when you don't let him go into a room that he shouldn't (dining room with all of the glasses). The great news is that he loves us and loves where he is.

But, the other side of the coin is... he is horrified of anyone else that comes near him if we are not holding him. And if we are holding him, he will still scream....just not as severe. I can't leave from the TV room to the kitchen without a shrill. Those rooms are connected...I just happened to be out of his eye sight for 2 seconds.

I thought I had the answer today and put him in the Hip Hugger. The one that you put your baby in and your arms are free. He liked it in Russia, but, now that he has had some freedom....can we say TICKED OFF??! He screamed at the top of his lungs to get down in the store today and his sister began taking everything off of the shelves while I was trying to buy our daughter S class gifts. M even layed straight down on the floor and never moved. A full blown temper tantrum. It was a Kodak moment. I must have had that smile on that says "I am trying people"

The other side of the coin is that I haven't felt well since I have been back. Which is soooo frustrating since in Russia, I felt so alive and renewed. Well...I got the call today and I tested positive for H Pylori. Doc says it could have come from Russia (or so he thinks). So, now I am on 2 major antibiotics 2 times a day and a Stomach Acid Reducer. Supposedly, you can pick up H Pylori in contaminated food or water. So, now, i have to call the pediatrician and tell them. They said if I tested positive, that they would have to test Nikolai. I am very upset about it actually. I have been so sick to my stomach for a while and now 2 different sets of antibiotics twice a day...good lord...I will never be able to get right!! At least I won't feel like eating and I definitely can stick to the South Beach Diet. Which by the way, I have lost 8 lbs this week... YEA!!! The doctor ran another test called an ANA (Anti Nucluear Antibody). I have tested Highly positive 4 times now. This is the 4th time. It is a test that can help you determine an autoimmune disorder. I have so much joint pain, but, the other tests come back fine. This doctor wants to do more research on me. He is running even more tests. I feel like a lab rat. And poor Nikolai is the same way, they are running tests on him for various things. It is frustrating...but, I have to say...thank the good lord we live near good doctors!!

And back to the positive side of the coin...B has been so good with the kids (as always) and so good around the house. He is such a supportive and wonderful husband. I love him so much. The kids scream so loud when he walks in the door and they are so excited. Sometimes, I am like "Hello??? I just cleaned your poop all day, and fed you and took care of you". But, I don't mind...because it is the sweetest picture.

And our oldest will be 6 years old in 2 days. And she is graduating from her class next week. I can't believe our little baby is growing so quickly. Soon, it will be graduating from High School before we know it!!!

So, I guess my advice for every new parent or parent again is just to roll with the punches. Because what your normal was before.... is gone. You have a new normal now and trying to find that balance is going to take some time. Have patience, and lean on your support group. You will need them. And also ask your friends for forgiveness if you have been out of touch. Because things will be crazy for a while. :) That goes for my blogger friends too...I will be catching back up on everyone's blogs and commenting. Sorry about that.

But with the bad, comes the good. Although I have been under the weather... I have also been the most active that I have ever been. I held true to my word that I would make changes in that area of my life. I have written 7 more pages to my screenplay in the last week. And trust me, that is a huge accomplishment with everything going on.

One last thing...don't forget to laugh. When things get crazy...just laugh. It helps the soul, it helps your stress....and besides, it is something that I love to do. B and I have done a lot of laughing lately with all the madness. I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Hope you all have an awesome Memorial Day Weekend!!!
Blogger Debbie said...
Wow you have a lot going on. Glad you are all bonding well, that is a very important issue.
Your health concerns me. I am praying for you right now and will continue. I hope they get the results they want to get you fixed up and stop poking you.
And thanks for the new parent advice. I will try to remember that when we finally bring our little one home.

Anonymous Michelle (and Dan) said...
I'm dying to see you guys but I get the feeling it's going to be a while before we get together.

Just a heads up, if what we have been going through in our first 8 weeks home with our daugher is typical, expect to feel some great progress forward and then be slammed with what feels like several giant steps backwards. Luckily, I think the going backwards is just temp. and we again are launched forward, so there is pretty much continuous progress.

Oh the roller coaster of adoption is nowhere near it's end LOL and yet, there is something comforting in all in the chaos, Lord knows if it got quiet around here I might think it was time to adopt another one LOL We can't have that quite yet though. :-)

We love and miss you guys. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Blogger ipodmomma said...
same back to you... prayers are with you all for a speedy goodbye to all these illnesses....

Blogger sandy said...
I'm glad they found the h pylori and that you have the antibiotics... at least this is treatable. =) You should be feeling better soon! Hopefullly the joint pain will resolve itself too.

Blogger Margaret said...
Oh yuck. H Pylori. I hope it all works it's way out soon and you're feeling 100% again.

I've never had a toddler, but to me his attachment to you seems quite positive. While it must be frustrating and disconcerting to have him screaming, he's figuring out that you're his constant. He just needs to learn that you can go away and you always WILL come back.

Blogger jeneflower said...
I am trying to mentally and consciously prepare for what you are talking about, but I don't know how exactly. I know things will be different. I hope you start feeling better. I am glad they found out what was wrong. I read that the first 6 months is the most difficult with your new child and then it gradually gets easier and breakthroughs come around 12 months home. I don't know if it is true, but it is just what I read.

Blogger Granny said...
Just saw you at ipodmomma. On way out door right now but I'll be back. Best wishes for your health and for the transition stress you are probably experiencing.


Blogger 6blessings said...
Take care and get better. Hopefully things will settle down soon. It's good to hear some reality . I have been trying to prepare for it, but I know that's impossible. We will just lean on the Lord, just like we have through this whole journey.

Take care of yourself!

Blogger jencc said...
hi Caroline! You've so much on your hands. I hope Nikolai's adjusting well, that you guys are better (how did his test go?), and that things are looking up, overall. Glad to hear about your 6 yr old. As with our son, we can't believe where the time has gone. He's going to "big" school this year (with uniforms and all! He gets to wear long pants because he's taaallllll!). We actually have a parents' orientation on Thursday morning. My baby's a big boy now! =)

Anyway, I digress. I hope things are better. Hear from you soon?


Blogger Tricia said...
I hope you are feeling better. You may remember I was feeling wonky from Sept to Mar. After many visits to doctors, making two courses of antibiotics, I still don't know why I had my symptoms. But now I am eating better, trying to be more active, trying to reduce stress... and the pains have almost completely gone away. Keep us updated on how you are doing!

PS> Another gorgeous day in Carlsbad. It was only mid 70s but sunny enough we were able to use the pool. Isn't CA great?

Blogger Eli's Mom said...
Such a wonderful post.... Your story is so touching. I'm so happy for N that he no longer has to be sick without someone to hold him...he is very lucky to have you!